Sighz.......like i was saying in my last blog...how lonely can one get? hmmm...i found that out well enough with my granny passing away at the age of 104 last saturday....sighz.....my brothers, luke and matthew and myself were so lost. we didn't know what to do, and were contemplating between whether to tell my parents or not.......sighz...my family went through so much in the last couple of days that it's so much to take in.....
To respect my granny, this was the first "Chinese" kinda funeral that my family attended and participated in as members......we learnt a lot of stuff from all the chantings and what-nots, and at the same time, i guess it was a real experience for us since we probably wouldn't ever do something like that in our lifetime again.........it was truly interesting, and i guess that this funeral was also one in a million coz since my granny had passed a century, it was more a happy funeral than a sad one coz she had lived her life to the fullest, and thus we had to be happy for her. All of us wore white and red, and none of us could cry...........it was very nice, and my granny kinda left peacefully....according to some medium who came to pray for her, apparently, she's already in heaven with the Guanyin.......so.....i guess i'm happy.............through this trip, i really admired my daddy......whilst most people break down, and weep when the body is being sent into the furnace to be cremated, my dad had to be the one to press the button that would start the movement of the coffin into the furnace, and he was so strong. whilst he cried, but he continued singing with the music of Auld Lang Syne that was playing over the PA system in the background...just the way he would at any other funeral..........so proud of him, and i truly admire his strength......
i'm feeling so tired coz i spent the last few nights in malaysia doing the nightwatch, to ensure that there was always an incense burning, and that the candles did not burn out.........i'm glad i could at least do that for my granny.........i kinda miss her, but am happy for her.....
been calling my darling over the last few days as well...he's doing fine...sighz...the trip to malaysia only made me miss him more coz i had no one to share my feelings with...so much has happened, and whilst we were there, my poor eldest brother got chased by dogs, and he got injured coz he fell......the poor boy........i feel so bad to leave my parents there now, as they have to settle all the payments and the prayers after the funeral for the rites according to my extended family's religion......my mum looked so sad when we left today...coz both of them will be so lonely now...yet, we had to leave as we all need to go back to work........the both of them abandoned their trip, the poor things, a trip i know that can happen only once in a lifetime because of the company and all...but i guess....they had no choice either.......miss my parents too...i hope they come back soon....... hmm....one more week before my darling comes back..i hope i get a good schedule next week.....i wanna spend as much time as possible with him....miss him so so so much............
12:00 AM
Life is Beautiful
I love you not only for what you are
but for what you make of me.
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