Monday, November 30, 2009
this last week or so has been TOTALLY insane...... whether at work or at home....at work, there's been a mountain of work to do.... reviewing the past year, planning and re-preparing next year..... sigh.... even till now, it's not finished...we've only completed a term of work!!!! *shudders*....... though the hols start tomorrow for me... yet... i fear to think of what lies ahead in 2010...at home... it's not good either...... after my last post, i had a major swelling gum......turns out that God decided to give me some 'wisdom'!!! my wisdom teeth started hurting.........those of you who know me well enough know of my phobia of dentists...i'd rather DIE than to visit a dentist..... but, i was in SOOO much pain, i decided to go after 2 days.... well, seems that the dentist world has improved by leaps and bounds in the last 7 years!!! hahaha....now, it's no longer as scary...i mean, i still am scared, but it's not as bad......i still shudder when i think of those days where the school dentist dug hard at our teeth, scolded us for eating before seeing her... and we tasted blood from our gums....rinsed and shuddered at what came out........ they should have made ALL dentists the way it is now, and no one would ever be scared! totally LOVE my dentist at The Dental People, which is near my house...... he's awesome man!!! hahaha....anyway, i have to remove ALL 4 of my wisdom teeth THIS friday! will be going to NUH to go under GA coz seeing as my phobia of dentists have not totally been diminished, i will not put myself under the fear and terror of hearing and seeing everything that's being done....sigh... this has to happen a week before our trip to M'sia and 3 weeks before Christmas!!! and during my hols!!! i MUST recover ASAP!!!!!me aside? Faith is still sick... =( she has a terrible cough and mild bronchitis.... had to rent a nebulizer home for her to inhale.....the poor girl goes through so much agony of medicine...and her phelgm is still haunting her..... tomorrow's her review... i just hope she gets better....some things have happened this few days which have made me reflect a lot about relationships....i used to be a spoilt brat in our relationship..... i really was.... at the smallest of fights, i'd say that we should take time to cool off........ i just thank God for darling, for he never once gave up on us...and he often scolded me... he'd say that if I could mention such things so lightly, it's obvious that the relationship doesn't mean anything much to me.....otherwise, why would i give up so lightly?it is so true. if a relationship is no longer worth fighting for, giving up all you have just to keep it alive, then it no longer is worth anything at all.we've been together for 1 month short of 7 years already.... to people who are still dating, it may seem like forever...to people like my parents who've been married for close to half a century, we've only just begun........things weren't always smooth-sailing.... we've had our major fights and all...esp when we first started, and the relationship was still rocky... but we have grown...as a COUPLE...... the journey of a relationship is something in which you have to walk TOGETHER.....LOVE is not only about giving or taking entirely....... the entire road, is a compromise on both sides...... at times you may fall, at times you may jump..... but through it all, you have to hold onto each other's hands, and walk beside one another.....no one leads, no one follows.....you walk TOGETHER......i used to fret and complain and whine about how Darling never ever spoke up or shared his thoughts....... we fought A LOT over stupid things like that...... we still do! =) but....once i've gotten my frustration out of my system, i ask myself, why do i bother? that's the way he is, isn't it? i knew he was like that from the very 1st month we were together.....yet, i still chose to believe in him, to love him....and for that very same reason, it is why i should accept him.... for better or for worse.....these words speak volumes....it's not only in the material/financial sense...or in the physical/mental health sense.......it's also in terms of one's imperfections.......no. I'm not saying you should entirely forgive EVERYTHING the person does wrongly... especially if it encroaches on your rights...........morally, if a person is wrong, he/she is wrong and punishable.... that is for sure.....what i'm saying is that after the heat of the moment has left us, we need to stop. take a breather and think about it all........we should not focus on the mistake, but on the reason behind it. weigh the differences..... what's more important here? the relationship or the sin? yes, we must think with our heads once in a while....but in this case, isn't this a relationship after all? does it not concern emotions? we aren't judging for the person to be hung or not....but whether the love matters in this case......UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.......means loving no matter what the person does......i.e. a mother/wife/sister/daughter who would send a loved one to jail for murdering/stealing/drug-trafficking, etc......yet still say sincerely that 'I still love him'.....Yes. they need to be punished...but not by us........as the line i read from a web article,"Mum, love me most when i deserve it the least"it applies to everyone or everything that we love..............how much can we forgive? i only have this to say.... if you love, you will forgive no matter what............of course, if the person no longer loves you, then there's no longer any point in all of this.....but if you and the other person still love each other....then...doesn't love remove it all?????always remember why you fell in love the very first time.....the reasons you fell for the person... the reason you decided to walk this path together........"i promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life...."this was on the web together with my quote from above...find it extremely true...... =)Your children are not your children.They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.You may give them your love but not your thoughts.For they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams!You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of infinite,And He bends you with His might.That His arrows may go swift and far!Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies,So He loves also the bow that is stable. --Kahlil Gibran I find it so extremely true......for my students....for Faith.....for those i love - as friends or family...... it's really something i will make myself remember.....
10:05 PM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
it's been a terribly long time since I last blogged.I tell you... teachers work like mad dogs once the end of the year comes......we have no time to eat, no peace of mind when we sleep...and all we can do is to stare at the computer all day long if we aren't in class....all to ensure that the marks are keyed in correctly...that the remarks in the report book are gramatically correct and politically pleasing.... that all the other awards, etc are keyed in correctly.... sheesh..it's madness...then comes all the checking of papers, signing, etc etc etc.... it's just endless..... pretty much no one had time to eat properly..... the entire staff room was a mad rush....but.. thank goodness, the kids are gone for their hols now.... =)the WHOLE public world think teachers are SOOO lucky, coz we have holidays....sigh... that's what they THINK.... with the 'farewells' to our little 'angels', it's 'hello' to 8-5 meetings and reviews cum planning for the year ahead.....doesn't help that Faith has caught some weird bug from God knows where, then passed it on to me, then to darling, then to my dad...and now she's got it again.... sigh... Faith and me are coughing like some dogs, and i've had a horribly 'sexy' voice for a week already! =(JXY is in a week or so. it's weird to not have to think about it. had wanted to lend our hand because their pple are so new and they seem so unprepared.. .but.. i guess our help is not needed and is uncalled for. In fact, people find us unnecessary and helping too much...... i'm greatly shocked, hurt and appalled. We only helped because they needed it... and suddenly they turn around and say that we should let them try it out on their own. HA. So much for lending our time to them when they most needed it. We never even stepped in until they asked for it.....everything was in dire straits due to lack of foresight and planning by their own leaders. But fine. since our help is uncalled for, and we are seen as being unwanted, i don't see the point in even wasting my time any longer. For the record, we do not think that we are superior to any of you. We are only lending our hand because the current point you're at doesn't seem like you're ready for your camp which is in a week's time, and thus, we hope that by helping, we'd be able to gear you all in the right direction so that you'd be ready. But since you see us as interfering in your camp, then fine. We WILL NOT interfere any longer. because you don't need it anyway. We only helped because we hated that feeling of abandonment we felt when we were left to fend for ourselves with no support. We thought you might appreciate it too. But apparently we thought wrong. We assume too much. And therefore, we will not interfere any longer. Since you all think you are ready for what lies ahead, then so be it. We will wash our hands off EVERY SINGLE thing. Unless we are asked, we WILL NO LONGER APPEAR, because we interfere too much. So be it. ... in the midst of all the madness of school and unhappy stuff, Faith is still a darling to be with... she just seems to want to gain her independence quickly. She refuses to crawl, and would rather use her head and legs to propel her forward than to use her hands! sooo weird... these days, she usually roams around the entire bed at night, using everything around her to help her to stand... before she falls back onto her diaper-protected bum.... and instead of learning to crawl, she'd rather walk! so right now, she can walk, if we hold her hands... =) will she walk even before she crawls? That seems like a high possibility!!!!right now she can sit all by herself, and she knows how to pull herself to a sitting position all by herself from when she's lying down! am so proud of her.... she's still a small baby for her age, especially since she's still drinking and eating like a horse! but, i'm happy with her size and her milestone achievements!Faith is such a cheeky baby.... you should see how she tries to snatch my glasses from my face and pull my hair... and when i turn around to stare at her, she gives me the brightest, widest and cheekiest smile ever just so i won't scold her! can you believe that! the smile i love most is her crinkled nose smile... she imitates my smile... and when she finds it really funny, she even snorts! hahahaha... .my dad is saying it looks so 'ugly'.. hehe... but i find it really cute!Christmas is coming soon... she'll be spending her first Christmas already!!!! =D am so looking forward to it... just a couple months more and she'll be turning 1 year already!!! i already have SOO many ideas... =) everything's still being worked out though..... gonna do up the whole place with nice decor and all.... so much to look forward to... can't wait to spend the hols with her!!!! =)
4:22 PM
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