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I'm writing this just before I leave for the airport.

Am running a fever now....guess it's due to overexhaustion for the whole of last month. Was shivering super badly last night...thank you nigel for keeping me warm with sheena's hairdryer....=)

Hope my fever goes down before i board the flight.....

Yesterday was an amazing day......other than a few cock-ups here and there at the start, but by the time the mass was over, I relaxed, and let everything run its course.......everything went according to plan, and I was very satisfied....if not for the fact that I fell sick last night, I think it was a perfect day....

am still trying to get used to my manicured nails...really feel very awkward with them..... but am surviving so far.....hehe.....

the thought and weirdness of being married and having to address Robin's parents as Mum and Dad is still something I'm trying to get used to...... but, it's slowly settling in....

hmmm..will go shower now....btw, for those of you who weren't there yesterday, but want to see our wedding album, you can go click on this website....

http://moomediaonline.com/wedding/select/p&r/

as for the photos from yesterday, well, we'll only get to see them when we return from Australia....

to everyone reading this, a Merry Christmas to you, and a Happy New Year!!

See you guys in 2008!

Signing off,

Mrs Ho... =D




Just got my results for my first semester in NIE..... I think it's super sucky.....didn't expect this kind of results......may be satisfactory for some, but definitely not for me..... sighz.....got an overall GPA of 4, which translates to a B+ in total.......

what a way to spoil my day.......

The only nice thing about today is viewing my wedding album.........but knowing my results have spoilt everything.....




The wedding is 3 days away. I simply cannot believe it!

Many a time I find myself asking if I'm jumping into this too soon coz the fact that Darling and me are married means a lot of things are gonna be changing. Not in our relationship, but more in the way people are gonna be treating us.....There'll be more expectations of us....esp since we now have 2 sets of parents, if u know wat i mean..... =p It is quite scary, if u think about it... and I guess pretty much every decision u make in life also has these kind of unknown future and consequences, but we still go ahead and make them anyway, trusting that God will guide us in the right direction...it is this knowledge that is giving me the courage to tell myself that things are gonna be alright after all.......

Been spending the last few nights working really really hard on my decor.....it's insane...... almost every part of the dinner decor is done by Darling and myself......the car decor is gonna be done by us, and the church decor is done by my mum......My bro was saying that this is the most DIY wedding he's ever seen, but also one of the most individualized and personalised...... I only hope that when everything comes together, it's gonna be perfect. Seriously, watever others may comment on the dinner, I wouldn't care anymore......coz Darling and myself have done everything that is humanely possible to our expectations......and we have done our ultimate best, so it no longer matters wat others think anymore.... This feeling is far more different than if we had paid someone else to do it for us.....u know wat i mean?? =)

Sighz.........been sleeping at 4am every single day, then waking up by 8 or 9 am in the morning...it is madness I tell u....I really feel like I never left JXY at all!!! argh......i just hope the eyebags and all don't show up on Saturday....was telling Angela that on the 23rd, once I board the plane, am just gonna tell darling goodnight and fall straight off to sleep... haha

Hmmm...hope all the DIY stuff gets completed by today....wait a min...it must be completed..... all the bags must be packed too....and tomorrow and Friday will be spent collecting all our stuff from the vendors.....really really hope everything falls into place......coz 21st is gonna be an insanely rushed day..... this would probably be my last post till January, so to all reading, here's wishing you a Merry Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year ahead of you!!! My sincere apologies that I can't invite all of you to the wedding coz our parents have humungous guestlists.....which makes it financially impossible for us to invite everyone we want........really hope you guyz understand.....we'll definitely show you our pictures k?? See you soon!!!!




It is officially 9 more days to the wedding.

I am officially suffocating under pressure.

No. It's not from my wedding plans or preparations. Although I am constantly losing track of my thoughts coz there's so much on my mind, so much to be done, and am constantly writing checklists to make sure I've got everything on task and completed, and despite the fact that my wedding helpers still haven't got their clothes ready, and my mum can't remember that she has to do my hand bouquets, but no. The wedding prep is going just fine, the way I want it to (thank you, God), and it is so not stressing me out,

I'm tired. Really tired of everyone around me forgetting that Darling and myself have a major life-changing event approaching us in less than 10 days. Sure, they do remember that my wedding is coming up. Yet, they fail to realise that not everything will happen with a snap of our fingers. Everything will and must fall into place, but it's not through magic, but through many hours of toiling, planning and late nights of not sleeping that will make everything possible.

so what if I am officially on term break?

I am not spending every single day at home watching tv, curled up on the sofa like a couch potato. Every single min of my waking hours are spent worrying and planning about every minute detail of the wedding coz i, or rather, we want it to be as perfect as can be, as cost-saving as can be, as personalised and hand crafted as it can possibly be!

No one seems to realise the stress we are under, and that's fine if u don't care.

But stop expecting us to do things more than our planning! We are already not asking any of you for help to plan except to lend us manpower on that very day!!! Do you not already realise how much weight that takes up on our shoulders??

No. You obviously don't.

I still have to worry about my friends' well-being and their entire lives. I still have to worry if that someone will forgive me before my wedding coz everyone is telling me i'll regret it if he doesn't turn up on that very day. (seriously, I think i'll be too stressed up and busy on the 22nd to realise his presence.) I still have to spend almost 16 hours of my time bloody house sitting coz no one else can do it, which we don't mind doing coz the both of us see it as an obligation. But just because we don't have time to spare to help you guyz unpack the furniture, don't act like we can't be bothered with the chores at home!!!! I'm still being pressured about my decisions for church stuff next year, something I don't understand why they can't wait for me to handle it when I get this major event over and done with!

HELLO everyone......my major life event that happens only once in my entire life occurs in 10 days! Can you not realise or remember that???????

Argh.....i haven't even packed for my honeymoon! My bloody exam results are not even out yet, and it will only be released on the 21st, thank you very much! My timetable will only be out when I'm away in Australia! That alone is enough to get me all worried without all my wedding crap that still needs to be settled.......why am i still worrying or having to worry about everything else in everyone else's life??!!!

do I sound like a spoilt brat? I sure hope not. Coz I'm up to my neck in stress, pressures and worries....and I really really feel that Darling and myself are underappreciated.

The only people that truly seem to care are far away in Australia. Boy, are we glad we are spending our honeymoon with them. They actually reminded us to take stock once in a while, to breathe and to remember our whole objective of getting married, of the reasons behind it, so that we don't lose track of why we are doing this in the first place.

I thank God for them. Really, I do.

And I also thank God, that Darling is the one walking beside me through all this, and that we haven't, not for once, taken each other for granted in this entire journey of preparation.

I truly don't know how we would have managed without You walking by our side.




Yay...the Legion Blog is completed. Many thanks to Monica! haha...it's still a bit plain la...due to the lack of posts...but..we'll do wat we can to spice it up....=p

Anyway, had my second last fitting for my gowns yesterday.....I think I lost somemore weight...*jumps in glee* coz both my gowns now feel a little loose. Am quite worried I'll lose more weight though...so will be going for my final fitting next monday.....=)

Then I went to re-colour my hair....didn't do much la...just that the highlights are far more obvious now....Darling's promised he'll be doing his hair highlights for the wedding too! Yay.. it's been like 3 years since he's had highlights coz he's in army and all.......=)

We met Angela, and went for Sakae....haven't eaten so much Sushi in my life before.....and to think they were all $1.99 plates....we spent like $53!! But it was good fun....chilling, talking, just enjoying one another's company. Talked about lots and lots of stuff. We left for home quite early though...coz Angela's on morning shift today......

so....came back..got more prep done for the wedding.....then Darling and me had a VERY long talk for like an hour or so? It's been so long since we talked like that. Not thinking about anything else, or looking at anything else......and our main focus on one another. I love it when we have talks like that......coz Darling totally lets down all his barriers, and talks to me wholeheartedly, and everything I hear is truly from his heart. We talked about our fears for life after the wedding, our insecurities about everything else around us, as well as the knowledge and security of our love for the other person.

Maybe that's what is keeping us strong. =)

I think it's absolutely necessary for any relationship (whether friends, lovers or families) to have talks like that once in a while... where you let all guard down, be yourself, and talk to one another from the heart...there's no fear of judgement or fear of rejection, coz you know the other person is as vulnerable as you are.....it's at these points that you know you truly love and have affection for the other person.

on another note.....had a super long talk over MSN with Chan on Sunday night...... he said many things I never thought he'd say, but it just goes to show how much he's grown and matured in this entire year. =) It was good having someone with no prejudice or subjectivity actually giving you his real view...and I really appreciate it, coz no one else has been giving me comments like that...comments that really made me think and reflect about my own actions, and not the other person we were talking about. Though I've only really known him in the last 2 weeks or so, but I somehow feel that we are similar...maybe it's coz of the birth order (which actually really makes a difference in the way you act and react!), in which we both are the youngest of 3 or 4 kids.....his determination and patience, and cool-headedness really impresses me, and is something I truly admire........For a guy his age, he sure seemed my age when we were talking that night.........haha....shall stop praising him though...anyway... yup... because of what he said, I've tried to do something about the friendship. I don't know if it'll work, but I've tried.

Thanks for giving me the courage to try...I really do appreciate it. Whatever happens now, i'll leave it in God's hands.

Funny how I've so much less confidence these days. Much as I appear to be without fear and very very confident, the truth is I'm actually far more timid inside....and it's only those close to my heart who know the real me. Yet, it's actually worsening. Ha. I haven't gotten better over the years, but instead, am becoming worse. I think being with Darling actually made me become less confident coz I no longer rely on my own decisions but his as well. Maybe it's coz I'm no longer responsible to myself for my own actions...but coz any actions of mine will have a repercussion on him as well. Is that good or bad? I really don't know......=)

Ah well.....much to do today.......I really hope everything turns out for the best.........




The final Legion activity for the year is over! Finished. Done. I don't know what to feel.

I spent the last one week sleeping really late preparing for the gifts (which I hope you guyz liked by the way...). Although it's nothing much...but it was really handmade by Robin and myself... =)

First time in so long that I've seen so many pple for Curia. Too bad Darling wasn't there... so it was a little messy and disorganized...something I wasn't too happy abt...but oh well....wat mattered was that everyone was there.

To my surprise, almost everyone dressed up. Something I was really shocked by. haha.
Everyone seemed to be having fun today, enjoying each other's company and presence. Though the games were a little lameass and all....but the feelings that were running through everybody's mind were no longer superficial things...but were focused instead on the bond between one another. It was a nice Christmas party....a really nice one. =)

I do hope you guyz enjoyed watching the video, and that you enjoyed yourselves. =)

Hung out for a little while with the older ones after the event. We talked about lots of stuff...abt the kids...abt the scandals and gossips (=p)....abt our plans for next year....

Darling and me have plans for Legion's future...we simply hope it will all work out, and that it's not an idealistic hope... =)

It's 13 days to the wedding.
This is insane.
I am finally feeling jitters.
It all feels surreal....
I can't believe my wedding is so near.
Am I dreaming?

I really hope it will all fall into place.
That all the things that Darling and myself have been planning for will turn out the way we want it to be.

I want it to be a memorable day for us.
Our lives ahead of us is something we've never experienced before.
I don't know what to expect, i believe darling doesn't know either.

The only thing certain in our lives right now is our love for each other, and the life we wanna build together.





I'm officially lacking sleep! haven't been sleeping normal nights since the start of Jing Xiu Ying.... sighz...what with all the 4am nights during the camp, I'd thought I was already deprived of sleep. Boy, was I wrong!!

Am doing all my wedding favours now, and have completed about 190 of them....still have another 60 to complete. Darling's busy with the decor for the car, as well as the guestbook.

There's really much to be done...if I carry on at this rate, I think I'll be not in very good shape during the wedding. So much to think about, so much to worry about.

08/12/07 - Meet wedding planner at 1100hrs; Chang Nian Da Hui @ 1400hrs; family dinner @ 2000hrs

09/12/07 - Reading in Church; Curia @ 1245hrs; Xmas Party @ 1430hrs

10/12/07 - Going to the florist; gown fitting; decor to purchase, hair dyeing session

15/12/07 - Wedding Rehearsal @ 1000hrs, purchasing of decor items from IKEA, packing for the DAY and the honeymoon

During this entire period, however, I have to complete my wedding favours and decor!! Feel almost suffocated....

Thank God Darling is on leave this week, so he can help me out with the stuff....been sleeping at about 3plus each night to complete the favours asap, and waking up at 9am to come house-sit Darling's house whilst renovations are being carried out.

Surprisingly, I completed the video montage for JXY in one go...took about 3-5 hours....a much faster try as compared to the one I tried to do last year. It's of much better quality too. Haha...can't wait to show it during the Xmas Party...just hope nothing goes wrong!!

Sighz..I have not idea as to why we came up with the theme of Winter Wonderland. I really am clueless about what I want to wear!! I don't wanna buy anything that I'm gonna wear only once!!! have to get the gifts as well...*sighz*

Been reading all the "kids'" posts on the camp. I'm really amazed at the lengths they are going through to keep in touch. All the conferencing on phone and MSN.....haha...makes me think back of those days in 2002 where we ONLY MSNed........but we went out a lot. So I guess we equalled each other....hehe..

Am glad that they all loved the camp. Darling, Angela and me were analysing...and figured that this time, all the YGZ were closer to their age, and they had "older" campers amongst them as well, which made it less dictatorial in a sense..... of course, the fact that the entire camp's focus was entirely not on God made it a much more appealing thing!! =)

As Angela so aptly put it yesterday, "Pet, your tagboard suddenly very busy ah!!" Yup, i sure do think so....glad you all enjoyed the dance so much, and that it had such a great impact on all of you....when I was conceptualizing it...was really worried you wouldn't like it, and would have a problem, especially with the couple part...turns out it's quite a good idea after all, coz it made you all interact even more than you would have on an individual basis!

As for being a YGZ, well, it seems glam, seems like lots of fun, in addition to the fact that the YGZ are far more bonded than all the campers at the end of the camp, and are the ones who have the biggest emotional and mental reaping after the camp, a lot of hard work has gone into the preparation to make it what it seems like to you guyz. Of course, after trying to make sure that all the stuff prepared goes through perfectly fine, there's the seemingly never-ending meetings to go through EVERY night....there's where you really feel the strain. It doesn't help that there's people like me and Robin who have very high expectations of the YGZ, that no matter how tired you are, it is imperative that you do not show it to the campers at any time at all.

So...for those of you who feel like being a YGZ is a dream, do place yourself in reality... =) haha. I think what's most sad about it is that once you become a YGZ, you no longer can fit in as a camper. It amy not seem that way...but it sure is, especially back then, when there was no other pple to do the camp, and we continuously had to do camp after camp. But we survived, and maybe that's why we expect more of you guys... =p

As for now.....just enjoy being campers, being young, and enjoying camp after camp with what the YGZ have prepared for you...trust me...the stress is definitely 100% lesser!! When your time comes, you will be approached....don't have to worry about that! =)

Those of you who were wondering where Robin's "I KILL YOU" came from, watch the above... u'll laugh your socks off...

Am spending the entire day at Darling's house, doing house-sitting coz it's undergoing renovations. Am bored to death......but it's coz I'm bored that I start thinking about camp and all that we've gone through these 5 days.



Spent the better part before the camp worrying about how the YGZ of this year would fare. After all, they were all in new roles. Roles that they had never undertaken before, programs that meant a whole new world to them. It was a new school, a new format of doing a lot of programs. I was worried, Angela and Nigel were worried, Darling was also worried. We didn't know if our presence made the YGZ more stressed out. After all, we are always the ones scolding them. I'm only glad that we managed to help them through, and in the process, bonded with them on an even closer level, minimising the huge gap that once lay between us.



Some of them have made me very proud. Pple like Monica who actually did far more than what was being asked of her, for hanging on no matter how tired she was, for giving 200% of passion and enthusiasm, for making us feel even more driven and to feel that it is all worthwhile; pple like Chris, who undertook something that we knew he would never take up. For maturing into a deeper and more well-balanced person, for growing up and taking on responsibilities of his own accord, and not giving up even though he had no expertise or experience in the group he was assigned to.



It's in the training of such people, of watching them grow up that makes us feel that everything is worth it. After all, they are the next generation. They will be our next era....and they are the ones who give us hope.



Of course, there are also the campers who mature and grow up..... Who show that they have truly gained something spectacular in the 5 days. Gained something that will make them a different person, something that will change their lives forever. Watching them, I can't help but feel proud of them.



Darling and me spent the better part of the morning discussing our YGZ for the 2 camps of next year. We are going to make things different. It is time to train proteges, time to make them much more than what they ever believed that could ever have become...time to make them realize their own potential and what they can truly achieve. It is time to make the new generation understand why Legion means this much to us. Nigel has helped them form the bonds this year....it is now up to us to strengthen these bonds, and to make them all indispensable to one another....



Legion is a family. It is something that no one else outside of this circle can understand. We always say that the friends we find here are those we can find nowhere else, and it is true. No one understands why. And it is funny how despite these bonds, there are still people leaving us due to lousy excuses. It is time for us to discover the real reason behind this, to give ourselves and those after us a reason to stay on in Legion for life. It is time for us to inject new life into the place that is truly our Sanctuary.



Certain things have happened in the span of last night and now that made me very sad, for it is with truth that people who are out of our circle in Legion will never understand the bonds we have. And it is because of this lack of understanding that leads to many many misunderstandings. It is with this that I can say that Darling and myself are truly very lucky to have found someone who shares this special bond. And it is also why we say that Legion will be our life, and that Legion will flow in our blood, for it is through Legion that we were brought together, and it is for Legion that we will fight for to continue to build these bonds of steel in the younger ones.....We may have left once, but we realized that Legion is what makes us who we are. Legion is the place that we want every single Legionary to call Home.


These people are my family. These people are my friends. These people are the ones who have stuck it out with me through thick and thin. These people are my sanctuary.




Just returned from camp..... this year's camp was an entirely different experience for the both of us, for we weren't YGZ but were instead helpers, helping them oversee the programs and all... Many things happened in the duration of the camp.... and all I can say is, God has truly been watching over these pple during the camp.......we had wonderful campers and lovely weather....something we wish for in every single camp.....

Darling and myself are v. drained right now....coz we've been sleeping very little these last few nights.....we really do feel old.....we can't keep up with these young teenagers anymore......funny how we are only 22 turning 23.......the difference in age may be small, but the limits of our body is clearly changed.......

Had lots of fun teaching the campers their Lindy Hop....and I think they had fun too.....teaching them was very satisfying and very fulfilling.......

Although the venue of the campsite was rather old..... with lots of insects (that massacred my legs!!!) and non-existent shower facilities...yet....I think it was a very nice place....calming, safe...and really really peaceful......

Have gained closer friendships, strengthened the existing ones....and looked after the young kids....... Darling and myself are so different this year as compared to other years...... I realise how much patience teaching has offered me.....I no longer lose my temper as much.... and I am able to relate to them the way I would with my students......Darling?? well, he's really different this year.......he actually brought himself down to the kids level and had lots and lots of fun with them...this is unlike other years where he would clam himself up...and not really interact with them.

Thought very hard abt some of the friends I've gained and lost in the course of the last few years.....more on the latter actually....and all I can say is....

On a lighter note, had our food tasting today, and the food was not bad....both our parents loved the place.... and am quite pleased....had a little misunderstanding during the big dowry thingy...but...I do hope it's all solved.....

20 more days to the wedding....it's less than 3 weeks away......I don't know what to say.....i guess the jitters are slowly coming on to me....haha.... have to really get everything solved during the course of the coming week especially since Darling has taken leave to look after his parents' home that is under construction........

so much much more to do.........