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I am utterly exhausted.

the last 6 days have been total craziness for me. for those of you who already know, Darling is down with a really bad viral fever. The first 2 days he was ill, his fever ranged between 39 - 40 deg C..... I nearly went mad sponging him down, taking his temp, giving him medicine, preparing food for him. I am only thankful that Baby didn't choose to act up during this period and gave me some peace of mind....... his fever only really started to go down on Monday, but even then, his "normal" body temperature was at a constant 38 deg..... and he didn't have much appetite, so it was a real headache thinking of what I could cook for him. Thank goodness after his 3rd jab and blood test yesterday, his fever finally decided to take a U-turn, and drop off for a little bit....luckily the blood test results for dengue came back negative, and doc says he's on the road to recovery. Am so thankful la.... sighz.....

Because of all the worry and sleepless nights, my body has suffered in its own way too.... am extremely listless and tired now, with not much appetite to eat. somehow, Baby's asking for attention, knowing that Daddy is getting better slowly........ was telling the doc that I'm worried Darling's illness will be caught by me, and that Baby will suffer. He was reassuring me that Baby will be safe and fine.

Friday is our next appointment with the gynae, and Darling's really hoping to get better so that he can see Baby....that's his only goal in life right now. =)

Humph..... the peak of assignment due dates are here....at a really wrong timing, and due to my tiredness, I'm at a total lack of inspiration for all of them....had planned to finish them and hand everything in by Tuesday this week, but because I was so exhausted from looking after Darling, I had no choice but to take an MC.......

The peak of camp planning is also now...... and am rather stressed out with the way things are going.........everything's not up to standards and there are still programs missing.....sighz...so so much to do.....i wonder how it's even possible that people are telling me to let go, and let others do the job....right now, that seems near impossible. thank goodness angela's starting to step up, and nigel has stepped in. somehow, darling, myself and the 2 of them have done enough camps together to know that 4 of us can run any camp if things really get dire......and that's comforting enough, at least for now. In my current condition, there's no way darling and me can do it alone, so........it does seem kinda daunting......

I need a break. Badly. Want to get away from it all....our trip to HK may be dampened, not only by money...but also cos angela's mum is super against my travelling coz of my pregnancy. I react in sheer puzzlement as I've seen tonnes of pregnant mummies go on their trip and return just fine. I wish there were many other places I could go to that were equally cheap if not cheaper...but it doesn't help that it's the monsoon season, and our neighbouring countries are all out of the question. I really wanna go overseas coz it's the last proper trip darling and me can go off as a couple........come next year, we'll have one (or maybe more in the future!) little one tagging along for the rest of our lives! Our next trip in sight is Europe, but that will have to wait till this little cow is about 3 or 4, old enough to appreciate stuff....... and so........ i'm really praying that we can go on this one.........




ah.........why is the promise of freedom from morning sickness eluding me????

i'm still puking....i'm so not free from it...... this week, i've puked every other day.......and it's no longer food that comes out, but lots of water....... seriously, i feel like the merlion...... totally sucks......

i no longer find joy in food.....coz i get full after eating a little, and before my stomach is even filled, i can't eat no more, for fear that it comes back out.......and less than 2 hours later, i'm hungry again......

sighz...... are the bad days returning to haunt me??? i really hope not........


grandpa's made the decision of not going for the op....... my dad and me were giving him our two cents' worth of advice...... felt that there was no point in going for the op....i mean, just leave it in God's hands...... pray, and have faith....that's the best we can do when he's already so old.....why tempt fate??? after all, the op might only make things worse than they already are.....

hmmmm....rushing all my assignments out now..... it's the crux of the sem.....and, i hate the fact that i'm procrastinating so much to do my work...... based on the normal ol' me, i should have completed them already....but no...i'm still haunted daily by deadlines because i'm procrastinating and not doing them when i'm supposed to.....


darling and me just did a calculation on our finances...and we're so so so stretched. seriously. it worries the crap out of us.....and it doesn't help that expenses are going up with the monthly doctor's appointments, the parking and petrol for the car, the higher intake of food.....sheesh.... we're unable to save as much as before............ a cry of help to those who still owe us money..... we really need the cash asap......not for us...but for our little baby's savings fund.........

sighz...i'm tiring out really easily lately.......... only on thursday, darling and me went to sleep at 8pm, and we didn't wake up till the next morning. it was sheer madness. i don't even know why we were so tired. it scares me really how tired i can be....... i can't even seem to stand on my feet stationary for more than 10 mins......by then, i'd be feeling really dizzy.....

can't help but look at my fellow pregnant colleagues and wonder why they are so full of life. i wonder if it's just me and how my body is reacting to it....

ah well...... sorry for the depressing post......it's just my hormones and the fact that i'm feeling absolutely horrible after puking today away.......... darling's on duty again tomorrow....i totally dread the day already.........not sure if i'd be well enough to make it for curia on my own.... we'll just have to pray and see........




It's been two weeks since my last post.

So many things happening.....have tonnes of assignments due, so I've been working like mad just to get them done.

Grandpa is also in hospital....originally for a super high fever that didn't seem to go down.... and after running tests and all, they have just detected a growth in his liver. I think the biopsy will be done today.....to see what kind of a growth it is. Decisions to be made about whether to remove it surgically or through medicine.

sigh....he's so worried about it.....i'm just praying for the best.....please keep him in your prayers.

hmmm...went for my last check-up to the doctor last week.....Baby is doing really well.....and is really really adorable...... when the doctor put the scope on my tummy, the first image we caught was of Baby yawning away...... that image is fixated in my memory...... and Baby is a super active baby...........it's now 9.5cm.... and is growing welll..... =)

The morning sickness is depleting in frequency...but I am still puking every now and then.....kinda sucky.....coz taking its place are super terrible tension headaches that seem to zap all energy out of me....i'm also having terrible nasal congestion...... but at least i'm keeping my food down more these days........I've put on my first 2 kg...haha.......hope the weight gain won't be extensive!!!! Right now, i'm still looking fat more than I'm looking pregnant...so my old clothes are definitely still very wearable! =)

so.....other than Baby, the last couple of weekends have been spent with family and friends.....celebrated 3 September babies' birthday on the 27th with steamboat and all......and we had lots of fun..... then....on sunday itself, it was my dad's birthday, and we went out for dinner.... had quite a good meal.... =)

on sunday ate at Pasta Fresca with Angela and Darling, coz I felt like pizza...and food was fabulous man..... totally love their food.....and the ambience...pics are with angela though...so i can't post them up....

caught a couple of movies too.....House Bunny with Angela and Darling....and Mamma Mia with Darling again......loved the latter......am so gonna buy the DVD and the soundtrack....I think it's lovely watching these older actors having so much fun acting their roles out, singing the songs with so much enthusiasm, and how the scriptwriters cleverly weave the story plot around the songs.....

hmmm.....super random post.....probably coz i'm wasting my time here in school.....4 hours break...ah......doesn't help that i'm not feeling up to my best today.......am only here because i've 2 graded assignments that have to be done in class today....

ah well...... next check up is due on 31st..... looking forward to it already!