Saturday, August 29, 2009
It's been a long time... almost a month since i last posted!
I've been terribly busy with work.......
Thank goodness... my TP is finally coming to an end.
1 more week and it'll all be over.
This whole period has been extremely tough on me.
It has been trying..... and it really isn't easy trying to live up to expectation of my own and of others.
I've made a few relatively BIG mistakes in this process.
Apparently, from those watching me, it seems that I'm not myself... i'm not as focused as I used to be. Something IS bothering me... Something IS stopping me from reaching where I usually am able to reach.... Something is not allowing me to have as much confidence as I used to have....
The problem is,
I HAVE NO IDEA what that SOMETHING is!!!
I've tried to think so hard.....
but i really can't detect it.
SIGH......
ever since we left Legion and got caught up in our own lives,
I can't help but feel so distant from God.
He is still part of my life....
But I guess that becoming a Sunday Catholic has somewhat ruined my relationship with him.
I need to work at getting it back to.
I guess that this relationship is what grounds me....
Maybe that is what's affecting me.
=(
So fellow Legionaries, if you are reading this, please please ask me for help if you need it ok?
I really would not mind helping you guys out!
Although I am stretched for time....
But I'm really more than willing to help out.. .=)
Anyway, that aside.......
I do enjoy this class.
They are so different from the class I had last year.
Time passes so quickly, and my time with them is coming to an end.
I have no idea what's in store for me for Term 4.....
I do know though, that I'll be floating....
So, my timetable will start at 10.30am... and end about 4 or 5pm.....
Was supposed to be in the AM session.. but because my mum can only be home after 11am to take over babysitting, I am unable to do so......
5 months have passed.
It's scary to see how time just flies by.
Feels like only yesterday that Faith was just born!
And now, she's already moving on to solids....
Being a mother really requires so much....
time, energy, patience, love.... etc etc etc......
yet... it's returns are simply in the smile you get from your child.
I can't help but feel warmed in love when she smiles so widely each time she sees me return from work.... =D
All my frustrations get melted away.....
Of course, there are times where i get irritated with her moods and her demands for endless attention from me.....
Times when I get so tired and bogged down by the amount of housework that comes with having a baby... the lack of freedom that Darling and me have.....
But... her smiles, her laughter... her playfulness, her attempts and silly antics that make us laugh uncontrollably...all these are more than enough to make up for it.....
The love I have for her and Darling are soooo different.....
But i know... that having them alone has made my life complete......
And I am so extremely grateful to have them in my life.
11:36 PM
Sunday, August 09, 2009
It's been a long while since i last posted. To say that I am busy is an understatement. I'm overwhelmed by work, and i'm swamped in it.To say the truth, I can't wait for Term 3 to be over.
Then i'll be rid of all of these......I love my job, I do. I just think my sup's expectations are ridiculous.I'm not suggesting that being a full-fledged teacher is gonna be FAR easier than what I'm doing now, for there'll be many things to do....and i'll have far more teaching periods than what I have now.But, i'll feel that my time spent on work will be much more worth it than right now. At the very least, most of my time willl be spent doing admin, dealing with children/parents, marking, etc..... and it's time well spent... rather than spending it doing nothing but planning. Yes, I do admit. All this planning is making me do much more than I usually would, and I have evolved as a teacher.....But.... just writing the lesson plans alone... sheesh. I could go mad.I was so stressed a week or so ago, i just broke down.It really isn't easy going back to work... especially to a job that demands so much of you....and then to come home in the evening to a child. I love her so much, and I just want to enjoy time with her that I just try to be happy all over again, no matter how tired i am, just so she'll enjoy my company. In the process, I tire myself out further.Took me a while.... almost 6 weeks, to get my momentum back. But, I'm getting there.....Went to watch Harry Potter with Darling last weekend. Our first movie since Faith was born. I can't express to you how guilty I felt during the movie.But, I know it was necessary. No matter how much we love her, we still need some alone couple time away from everything else......I did enjoy myself though. Felt the movie was quite good... =)Also went on a cruise on Friday.... it was my first Teacher's Day dinner....Haha...It was fun... and it was on the ship that Darling and me had originally wanted to use for our wedding. As I was having my dinner, I was wondering how different the wedding dinner might have been if we'd stuck to the ship. It's a nice place to have a wedding, albeit a little rocky coz of the waves... It was my first night away from Faith.... usually I'm always with her in the evenings.... So, it did feel extremely weird. I kept thinking of her in the beginning, but I guess that once everything really began, I managed to put her at the back of my mind, and just enjoy myself. I really did have some fun. =)Going for the dinner, I'm simply thankful that I am where I am right now. This school is where I'd wanna remain....
10:24 PM
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