It's 3 more days till my darling comes home...sighz..these last few days has been so rainy and dreary, i'm like really worried about him...it really sucks not being able to hear from him coz i'm worrying myself sick...keep worrying that something bad might happen, and that i might not hear about it in time....sighz..i'm even more convince that i can't live without him now....yep, i know, i sound crazy, and like i'm exaggerating and all, but then again, it's true. That's the way i truly feel. It's funny know, i mean, here we are in this world, trying to make our lives more predictable, with all the advances in science and technology and all, but the irony is that, i feel our lives are even more fragile nowadays. People can just die now all coz of some bombing incident...look at those people who lived in the past, maybe our grandparents, for example. They lived simple lives, and whilst they may not have been leading lives like ours, but they sure had a longer span of life....oh well, i'm getting all theory-like again..... =)
Anyway, yup, was all alone on Saturday evening...and that truly sucked. My parents went to Malaysia for the weekend, coz it's like the 49th day of my grandmother's passing on or something, and they had to go over. Man...with my darling not around, and my parents away, add to that, my being sick, i tell you, it sure was hell..........i did have Russell over for the afternoon though....we were supposed to meet up for lunch and stuff, but then, we changed our plans, bought some food, and that had a good talk whilst eating and watching Mindhunters....quite a good show... but after he left, i felt so bloody lonely. Had wanted to go for my Sea Sports Annual Alumni gathering...but then, i hadn't been formally invited and all, and coz i wasn't feeling too well either, i ended up not going....heard that many people from my batch didn't go and all...quite sad.....wonder if because of my batch's poor turn-out this year, many might actually not bother to come when we organise it next year! Coz it's a rotation thingy on who organises, and usually, 4 batches after u graduate would be your turn to organize...so yup.... then, ya, coz i didn't go, i spent the entire night watching HBO and Star Movies...Thank God for those channels! I would otherwise have died of boredom or something.....then, i said my prayers...felt better after that... =)
It's really funny...i went to church on Sunday morning, coz i was on morning shift that day, and I felt so super alone and all, coz like i didn't have anyone I truly knew around me....and it's really weird, and i'm wondering how it's possible and all, coz i felt so absolutely alone physically, and i obviously was, but during mass, i connected with God on such a deep level, that i so totally felt his presence spiritually, and it's like, there was this immense peace i felt with him, that touched me in a very special way....it's indescribable, but, yup, i felt really really great. =) Praise the Lord!
Hmm...after my bout of sickness, i've decided that i'll so totally swear off antibiotics, especially the red and yellow capsule one......that capsule has given me so many problems before, i don't know why i even bothered to eat it this time round. i always end up getting tummy problems after i eat them..........man , i tell u, this bout of sickness was really really bad...friday night, i had a problem sleeping and all, coz i was aching in my knees, in my back, in my head, in my stomach......sighz.....but yup, i'm definitely better now, aside from my coughing and my runny nose....
My "girlfriends" from my kayaking team in JC is gonna come patronise my restaurant this friday...it's gonna be so exciting! hehe.....haven't seen them since like......i finished JC? it's crazy man......so yup, sure hope they have a good time, and it's gonna be great seeing them too... =) i'm so looking forward to this friday, coz darling's gonna come home, and i'm gonna be able to see my friends too!! oh ya, did i mention that I watched Herbie with darling? The car's so so so cute.....it just made me love the VW Beetle even more than ever...sighz...it's like the cutest, fattest, roundest, squashiest car in the entire world....love it so much....really hope darling and me can own one someday.....and ya, did i also say that my dearest brother Luke, kinda helped darling and me calculate approximately how much longer it'd take us to get our home as well as get married? hehe...he thinks that in 3 years' time, we should be able to fulfill our dreams....sighz...i srue hope so...i'm so dying to get married to darling...and i feel even more so coz our lives are like so unpredictable, and i badly want this dream of mine to be fulfilled before anything happens....in fact, if and when darling gets in OCS and he signs on, i guess we're really gonna sit down, and plan everything out properly already..........
hmmm...speaking abt this makes me miss him all the more....sighz...i guess i'd better stop, before i end up worrying abt him, and thinking abt him like crazy again........gonna be baking on friday morning before i go to work...just for him... =) okie then..gonna go take me shower now, and then i will pray before i go to sleep............
Absence sure makes the heart grow fonder, but inability to communicate during that absence sure makes my heart die faster!!
10:26 PM
Life is Beautiful
I love you not only for what you are
but for what you make of me.