♥ Eternity

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Am suddenly feeling very melancholic.....feeling very very deep in thoughts.....so many things that I am thinking about.........much as i seem sure of the path I am taking in my life, I can't help but be aware that there are actually many many "what ifs" in my life.......purely because I've taken so many drastic decisions that change my life so greatly. And sometimes, when I'm alone, when I get into moods like that, I can't help but think about my life...and all the "What ifs" surface............

throughout all the changes that I've come across......I guess the reason why i'm so stuck to my legion friends, is coz, they are still there regardless of how drastic the changes may bring to my life. my secondary school friends, i've lost......my jc friends, their path of life is so different from all the paths i've taken that i don't know them anymore.......the only people that still remain are those from legion.....sometimes i look at these past friends of mine, come across them in the street, read their blogs, and then i ask myself why their lives are so carefree, so free of responsibilities and commitments. And i wonder what my life would have been like if i had continued in that path....would I still be who am I today? would I still already know where I am headed? would I be preparing for my marriage right now? so many questions...........

much as I believe that each one of us has to live our lives without regret, I guess i'm just contradicting, because I have so many of them. Regardless of me being happy and contented in my life, but because there were, and still are so many wants in my life that I am unable to pursue, it thus causes that minor dissatisfaction. I know I ought to be happy with what my life is currently, for I've been so blessed, yet, I can't help but think...........

4:30 PM