Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Just did this test on parenting..........I think it's super super true!!
Type III parents strike a difficult balance with their children — one between authority and friend. To your children, you are both the rule maker and the confidante. You're very involved in their lives and you've established open verbal communication with them. You are very demanding but very responsive to them as well. You hold your children to a fairly high standard of behavior, but also work hard to be open and emotionally available whenever they need you. You set clear and consistent boundaries to which you ask their respect and adherence, but you do so in a warm, affectionate, and fair manner. You nurture a child's self-reliance and independence by doing things such as including them in family decision-making processes. You run your family like a democracy, wherein your children feel respected and free to question your viewpoints and disagree with the rules of the house. In a manner of speaking, you encourage them to contribute to their own parenting on a day-to-day basis. Punishments, when they happen, do not tend to be distributed in a highly emotional or physical manner, with a lot of yelling or spanking. Rather, they are carried out using more of a non-emotional system of consequences, such as withdrawal of one of the child's privileges or calling for a time-out. Positive Effects of Your Parenting Style: Research suggests that your parenting pattern is strongly associated with children who become independent, socially responsible, and emotionally secure adults. It also shows that these children tend to have high self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-control. Furthermore, children raised under the Type III parenting style tend to have really strong relationships with their parents. So much so, that when Type III parents punish their children, the children often understand why — they recognize what they did as wrong, and feel badly about it. Perhaps because they're open to understanding actions and consequences of those actions, these children tend to be very comfortable with social and intellectual self-assertion, and on average have good chances of long-term academic success. Negative Effects of Your Parenting Style: Your close ties to your children's lives have many benefits, but they can also foster some detrimental development. You don't want to be too involved with their daily lives. Doing so can quash your children's independence — even though you are sincerely trying to nurture it. Over-involvement in a child's life can take many forms. Whether children read into your involvement as placing excessive restrictions or feel smothered by too much affection and attention, research has shown that these tendencies can inhibit a child's ability to develop as a spontaneous and independent individual. Excessive control and monitoring can also make your children moody, introverted, and less socially capable than their peers. Smothering children with love and affection can make them impulsive, immature, and less independent than their peers. Your style of parenting is a strong one. The biggest difficulty you face is simply maintaining the fine line between the perfect amount of involvement, and too much. Remember children need time on their own to make their own decisions. Without that, they'll become dependent on others for approval even on simple decisions. And remember, your child changes with age, so expect your role as a parent to also change. The difficulty is learning how to maintain your close, loving, and instructive relationship with your child over time.
5:30 PM
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