Thursday, December 13, 2007
It is officially 9 more days to the wedding. I am officially suffocating under pressure. No. It's not from my wedding plans or preparations. Although I am constantly losing track of my thoughts coz there's so much on my mind, so much to be done, and am constantly writing checklists to make sure I've got everything on task and completed, and despite the fact that my wedding helpers still haven't got their clothes ready, and my mum can't remember that she has to do my hand bouquets, but no. The wedding prep is going just fine, the way I want it to (thank you, God), and it is so not stressing me out, I'm tired. Really tired of everyone around me forgetting that Darling and myself have a major life-changing event approaching us in less than 10 days. Sure, they do remember that my wedding is coming up. Yet, they fail to realise that not everything will happen with a snap of our fingers. Everything will and must fall into place, but it's not through magic, but through many hours of toiling, planning and late nights of not sleeping that will make everything possible. so what if I am officially on term break?I am not spending every single day at home watching tv, curled up on the sofa like a couch potato. Every single min of my waking hours are spent worrying and planning about every minute detail of the wedding coz i, or rather, we want it to be as perfect as can be, as cost-saving as can be, as personalised and hand crafted as it can possibly be!No one seems to realise the stress we are under, and that's fine if u don't care. But stop expecting us to do things more than our planning! We are already not asking any of you for help to plan except to lend us manpower on that very day!!! Do you not already realise how much weight that takes up on our shoulders?? No. You obviously don't. I still have to worry about my friends' well-being and their entire lives. I still have to worry if that someone will forgive me before my wedding coz everyone is telling me i'll regret it if he doesn't turn up on that very day. (seriously, I think i'll be too stressed up and busy on the 22nd to realise his presence.) I still have to spend almost 16 hours of my time bloody house sitting coz no one else can do it, which we don't mind doing coz the both of us see it as an obligation. But just because we don't have time to spare to help you guyz unpack the furniture, don't act like we can't be bothered with the chores at home!!!! I'm still being pressured about my decisions for church stuff next year, something I don't understand why they can't wait for me to handle it when I get this major event over and done with! HELLO everyone......my major life event that happens only once in my entire life occurs in 10 days! Can you not realise or remember that???????Argh.....i haven't even packed for my honeymoon! My bloody exam results are not even out yet, and it will only be released on the 21st, thank you very much! My timetable will only be out when I'm away in Australia! That alone is enough to get me all worried without all my wedding crap that still needs to be settled.......why am i still worrying or having to worry about everything else in everyone else's life??!!!do I sound like a spoilt brat? I sure hope not. Coz I'm up to my neck in stress, pressures and worries....and I really really feel that Darling and myself are underappreciated. The only people that truly seem to care are far away in Australia. Boy, are we glad we are spending our honeymoon with them. They actually reminded us to take stock once in a while, to breathe and to remember our whole objective of getting married, of the reasons behind it, so that we don't lose track of why we are doing this in the first place. I thank God for them. Really, I do. And I also thank God, that Darling is the one walking beside me through all this, and that we haven't, not for once, taken each other for granted in this entire journey of preparation. I truly don't know how we would have managed without You walking by our side.
10:49 PM
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