Tuesday, December 30, 2008
We just came back from the hospital.Darling's maternal grandmother has just passed away. I'm kinda saddened that she's not living to see the birth of her two great-grandchildren (darling's cousin is also expecting).... but in a way, we had expected her passing on...... we just didn't know when it was coming. After all, her health has been slowly deteriorating these last couple of months, with her organs failing one after another..... medically there was no longer anything they could do... and all we were doing was just to wait for time, and improve her quality of life as far as possible. We had just visited her on the Saturday we came back from Bintan.... coz she had requested that she wanted to see everyone.... probably a sign that she was preparing herself? I really don't know. Yet, even then, it didn't seem like it was time yet. I've seen so many deaths, visited so many that were dying in hospitals because my parents are usually so involved...... to the extent that I somehow can tell if a person's time is almost up..... yet I kept feeling that she would live to 2009 at the very least....... seems I was wrong..... I'm not sure if it's coz I kept telling God on that Saturday, and also during Mass on Sunday to let His will be done unto her, and to help her deal with the cross she has to carry. But at least, she's out of pain, and she died a peaceful death. I am rather sad... but maybe coz Darling's family was never really close to her, so that's why I'm not as impacted by the news. But anyhow, please do pray for her soul......It's gonna be a busy 5 days ahead.....as many plans have to be changed and interrupted..... doesn't help that the BBQ is on Wednesday, my nephew's birthday party on Thursday, and my parents' return from Jerusalem on Friday..... the wake is gonna be at Woodlands.... so.... there's gonna be many plans that need to be made.... just hope everything falls into place.....
This just reminds me of what happened last July..... it just reopened all the wounds, and made me think about what I would do if someone closer to me passed away...... Sighz.... I always feel that I am ready for death.... but I guess what scares me more and what hurts more is the people we leave behind because they are the ones that are dealing with the aftermath and the pain.... And I guess what really matters is to live our lives without regrets....so that if we were to die on any day, we would be ready to leave this world...... and at the same time, if someone else were to pass on, we would be ready to let them go without holding on to regrets of not having done enough for them..........
2:36 AM
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