♥ Eternity

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's been a long weekend.

There's been so much to do, so much to get used to, so much on my mind.

My mornings with Faith are the busiest when I'm at home.... bathe her, feed her, mop the floor, hang her laundry.....wash her bottles... all these have to be done as quickly as possible. And only after that, if she's sleepy and naps for the rest of the day, do I have time to indulge myself in doing the things that I have to/want to do.

I learnt on Friday to cope with all these housework on my own. All because my mum was busy with the Mother's Day Flowers. I'd never imagined I could cope without help.. but I did... and I was proud of her for being a good girl, and of myself, for managing on my own....

That same evening, we went out with Darling's family for Mother's Day Dinner.... it was a traumatic one for Faith because we went all the way to Vivocity and in the late evening too. She'd never been out so late before, and was shocked at the noise and the amount of people...

That night.. we didn't sleep till 3am because she was so scared.... each time she'd close her eyes for a min or two, then open them in fear again, searching for Darling or myself to assure herself that she's with us......

We spent the rest of Saturday trying to make her feel better.

Sunday was Mother's Day and also her baptism.
We'd expected the worst, and feared that she'd act up when immersed into the water. We were also scared that she'd catch a chill from the aircon.

But she was far braver than we'd expected her to be.
She never cried.... she didn't even make a sound... she was just happy to be in water.... =)
We'd known that she loves the water, because bathtime is her favourite time... but we didn't expect her to take to the baptism font so easily.....
She's probably really a water baby. =)
(Nigel, teach her swimming k? =p )

there are many photos of her, but as always, check her blog, the links can be found on the left side of this blog....
there are also videos of her...but i've not had the time to put them together properly into one nice video... i'll do it this weekend when i'm home with her.....

Yesterday was my last 24-hr day with her...
i really wish it didn't have to come so soon.
I truly enjoy staying home with her... watching her, taking care of her.
no doubt there are times when i resent it all....
but as i've always mentioned... just seeing her smile, hearing her laugh... that's all that matters.

she seemed to know something was gonna change.
she refused to sleep last night.
neither me nor darling could do anything about it.
we took extremely long to put her to bed.

waking up for her night feed, which isn't something that usually happens any longer, she puked in the middle of her feed. that was at almost 4am....
cleaning her up, calming her down, washing her bottles and sterilizing them, it was almost 4.30.
i had to leave by 7.
i no longer felt like sleeping, but i knew i had to...

she started crying again... and it took us quite long to soothe her again.
we were worried.
already our hearts were aching at having to leave her alone without either one of us around.
seeing her like that made it hurt even more.
we feared she wouldn't be able to get used to it.
we almost didn't want to go to work this morning.

but my mum believed she'd be fine.
and she was right...

Faith surpassed our expectations once again....
she was a perfect baby all day...

but upon our return, she seemed to act up once more.
i dunno if it's coz she misses us,
or because she knows we'll love and cuddle her and give in to her needs...

she didn't seem to drink as much milk as before.
i don't know if it's normal.
i don't know if she's unwell,
but I hope she's fine....

going back to work was a big big jump for me.
i'm exhausted.
and we didn't even do anything other than sit in the lecture room...
it truly was a waste of time.

and i missed her the entire time i was in school

i couldn't wait to be back home with her.

People worry about their kids suffering from separation anxiety.
I think darling and me are the ones suffering from it.

The road ahead is gonna be tough.
For Faith,
and for the two of us.

I fear my practicum, and how I'll surpass the benchmarks i'd set for myself during my first practicum last year..... especially since i have less time to think of wonderful lesson plans, source for resources this time round.
I no longer can be a workaholic and plant myself in front of the computer, worrying about work, because Faith is my greatest priority right now.

But I still have the faith that God has His reasons for giving this little angel to us.

I believe we'll make it through,
I know we'll make it through.

10:02 PM