♥ Eternity

Monday, July 06, 2009

My mind is terribly bogged down.

I have to start teaching tomorrow... am wondering if i'll be able to do as good a job as I always had... after all, my life has changed tremendously... my priorities are different, and I have less time to work on my lesson plans and resources....

My previous supervisor told my current supervisor that I'm a solid teacher.... sigh... i take it as a fantastic compliment.. .but i'm also worried that she's caused my current supervisor to set a very high benchmark and expectation for me.... making it harder for me to meet expectations.... =(

But I know I've racked my brains to make ALL my lessons for the rest of this term interesting, learner-centred and something from which my students can gain... i just hope i'm able to deliver...

I used to be able to put everything aside, and put work in first place when i'm at work. I used to be able to do anything and everything the school required of me... all because i know i need to do well, and I have my own high expectations to meet.... but now, things are different. Each time I receive a duty and have to go to school earlier, I feel terrible.. coz it means I have to leave Baby Faith earlier.... and have lesser time with her.....

I want so much to do my lesson plans in the night, to write out what i can... but by night time, I'm usually far too tired to be able to do anything....

Sigh... I really hope to learn to manage my time better.......

To make things worse... Baby Faith has just fallen sick.

She's coughing so badly.... the past few days, she'd already been having a dry cough, but we just tried to give her more water... today, her cough had phelgm... and she's sneezing so often.. plus she has a stuffy nose.

Darling and me got worried, and we decided to take her to the doctor's to check...... turns out she's got quite a bad flu.... Doctor gave her some medicines, and told us to bring her back on Thursday for a review. If she's still not well by then, she might have to be warded, as it's very likely that this might develop into bronchitis or asthma....

sigh.... it's heartbreaking to watch her like that.... she can't even sleep well because she's coughing every few mins..... and her appetite is affected because of that. She cries coz she's feeling lousy, and there's nothing we can do to help her get rid of the phelgm that's clogging up her lungs. =(

Yet.. she's such a strong and happy baby. I really am so proud of her. Despite feeling terrible, she's not miserable or crying all the time... instead, she continues to smile everytime someone smiles at her, sings to her or plays with her.... she is really such a happy baby.... Darling and me are so proud of her.... and at the very same time... our hearts are aching so terribly....

I just really hope she'll get better soon.......

6:11 PM